In The Living Years

The Band Mike and the Mechanics came up with a hit song that touched a lot of lives including mine back in the 80's. The title of the song is "In the Living Years" and it was about how a son expressed regret over why he never was able to say what he needed to tell his Father before his Father's death ergo the title ..."In the Living Years". A few months ago my Father in Law passed away and during the memorial service a brother in law of mine spoke about the same regret (that was the content of the song I reffered to earlier) in his eulogy. He cried like I have never seen him cry before, his frustration was that he never had the chance to tell my Father in Law that he loved him. When it was my turn to speak I shared about the need for all of us to move on and that there was no point to dwell on the thought of whether we failed Dad in our relationship with him or that he failed us. When my Father in Law passed away I was in the Philippines the country of my origin I had returned from the U.S. to the Philippines partly for work that was left undone before leaving for the United States. My Father in Law passed away just two weeks before my scheduled return to the United States. The day before he died we both had the opportunity of meeting up at my Father's house because he was there to pick up my children (his grandkids) to spend the whole day with them. When we saw each other for the last time we spoke for a few minutes and I asked him if it was okey if I called up my wife (overseas call) so they could both talk. He initially hesitated but relented to my persistance in the end and so my wife and my Father in Law spoke for the very last time over the phone for a good 20-30 minutes. Before he left with the kids for the day I noticed that he looked very uptight and restless. He kept on complaining that he felt unusually warm and he was sweating profusely. It was so very unlike my Father in Law to make such complaints but I never thought it to be a sign that we was suffering from symptoms leading to a heart attack. The following day I recieved a phone call early in the morning from my sister (his cardiologist) informing me that Daddy was rushed to the emergency room of a hospital near his house. I immediately informed all of my wife's brothers based in different parts of the country I also asked my parents to get in touch with my wife to inform her and then I rushed to the hospital. But I was too late when I arrived Daddy was already gone. My wife and her sister had to make an unscheduled trip to the Philippines for the wake and the funeral. About a week after the funeral we all headed back to the United States, my wife left two days ahead of me. When it was my turn to leave the first thing I did was before heading off to the airport I went inside my Father's room to say goodbye to him but I also made sure that before I left the room that I would tell him how much I loved him. I cannot even begin to express how much it felt good for me to tell my own Father how much I loved him. My Father is now 95 years old but still physically active though I know he is already living in his sunset years however my Father in Law was only 67 years old when he passed away. I have concluded that no matter how young or old your parents are especially with your Dads, take the time to show them how much you appreciate what they have done for you and try to always open the communication lines with your Dad that way it would also give him the assurance that you care for him just as much as he cares for you. We all need to value having a relationship with our fathers it is more precious than silver or gold. I am almost sure for some of us we have all had been at one point in our lives very obstinate children or it may have been the other way around (our Dads may have been as equally as bullheaded as we have) but it is never too late to try to start ...

1Peter 5:7